The Real Super Bowl Battle: Commercials. Vote Now!

Oh sure, we all know that Sunday’s Super Bowl will be an epic battle between two epic teams: The San Francisco 49ers and some other group of guys who haven’t been to a Super Bowl in 50 years.

Note: It’s just a little joke, folks. Simmer down.

I digress, because today’s your lucky day. I mean literally. We all know that Sunday’s battle isn’t just about football. It’s about marketing. And commercials.

Unbelievably, I was able to access a couple of 2020 Super Bowl commercials in advance via my special sources (i.e. The Internet).

Folks, I see a battle brewing between two powerhouses.

Leading the pack, IMHO, is Ellen with her wit, production savvy and deadpan approach. And then there’s Lil Nas, the Lanky Cowboy ridin’ ’til he can’t no more.

Note: Can’t nobody tell me nothin’.

Ellen has her supporting cast: Portia, a Court Jester and a guy with a bare bum. 

Lil Nas has his supporting cast as well: Sam Elliott (with a mustache maneuver leaving me weak in the knees) and Billy Ray Cyrus, with a fully-covered bum, thank goodness.

So, here’s your task. Watch the two front-running Super Bowl 2020 Commercial Contenders. And then:

1. Vote for your favorite in the comments!
2. Vote for your favorite as often as you want!
3. Don’t vote at all but watch them over and over again, which I see as the likely scenario but indulge me. A little.

First up: Ellen (Sorry about the brief promo. I guess I don’t have the clout that I thought I had.)

Now for Lil Nas & Sam:

So, Vote Now! Let your voice be heard! And … all these commercials are making me feel a little snacky.

“Hey Alexa! Order me some Cool Ranch Doritos!”

Go Niners!

I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing. In Perfect Harmony.

We live in a weird world, folks. 

We live in a weird, divisive world where everybody has an opinion about literally everything. And everybody feels that their opinion is actually a fact, which it is not. It’s an opinion. Let’s clarify:

Opinion: “A view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.”

For example, “Blondes have more fun.” Oh wait, that’s actually a fact. Sorry for the confusion.

Fact: “A thing that is known or proved to be true, the truth about events as opposed to interpretation.”

For example, “Blondes have more fun.”

Now, that we’ve cleared that up, let’s get to the topic at hand, because I promise that there is a point to all of this.

So, life is all about perception, really. And our perceptions shape our versions of reality. We all have opinions about politics, religion, Coke vs. Pepsi and other pressing social issues.   Sometimes I tire of the vitriol spewed so easily on the internet by anyone who may disagree with someone else’s opinion. 

Opinions aren’t facts. And in this world of divisiveness, I desire to bring us together, to find somewhere we can all meet, unified as One in peace, joy and perfect harmony.  And Coke.

It’s the Real Thing. Coke is, I mean.

Just as seems that perfect harmony, perfect love and a perfect specimen of a man may never exist in our divided world, Jimmy Garoppolo, the San Francisco 49ers quarterback, with the jet black hair, deep brown eyes, brilliant smile and the wink enters the scene.

It doesn’t matter if you are a 49er fan. Heck, it doesn’t matter if you are a football fan. Heck, it doesn’t matter if you are legally blind in your left eye. We can all agree. Because in the “Top Ten List of Beautiful Men that Unify the World in Perfect Harmony,” JimmyG holds the first five spots.

Note: And that’s an actual fact!

1. I mean, come on now.

2. Is he even a real person?

3. Yeah, Jimmy G. You’re number one. And number two. And number three. And so on.

4. The pearly whites. Kudos to the orthodontist involved in this situation.

5. Perfectly crinkled shirt.

Happy Super Bowl Week! Go Niners!

Heck, yes!