Don’t Call Me Sweetheart

I’ve got to be honest with you. I’m a pretty empowered modern woman. As a single, working mom, I think I strike the balance between successful career-woman and fun-loving mama really well.

Just ask my daughter, who described me yesterday as “Really weird. But, the good kind of weird that talks in funny voices and laughs a lot.”

But, in our house you’re just as likely to find my kiddos planning an elaborate Hatchimal dance party as your are to find them preparing for an epic hot wheels showdown. Rainbows and sparkles are regularly the choice of colors for decor and art work, just as much as Ninjago or Minecraft will be the LEGO selection. Both kids feel pretty safe liking whatever they like and being themselves.

But, given the the 18-inch long blonde hair and Disney-princess sized blue eyes that my daughter has, I’m constantly prepared to redirect people’s comments that fixate on her looks, because we know better now, right?

Pretty much. But with less makeup. ha.

Well, imagine my panic when I took her to her first basketball practice and this went down:

(It’s worth nothing that in Kindergarten, the rec league is co-ed and my daughter is one of two girls on her team.)

She’s running up and down the court as fast as anyone and bouncing like a little pogo stick when “defending.” It really is a heartwarming sight.

And then, she has the ball! And so we’re all shouting, “shoot it! shoot it!” And, then I hear it. The coaches voice loud above the rest, “Shoot it, sweetheart!”

My heart sinks. Not that I think it’s never appropriate for someone to call my daughter sweetheart. But, certainly not for her basketball coach – whom she’s known for all of 45 minutes – in the middle of a game.

So, the game ends and I’m still all irritated about the sweetheart comment – undermining all that work I’ve been doing to build up a strong, confident woman – and I walk over and tell her she did a great job.

She looks me right in the eye and goes “Of course I did, mom. I can do anything.”

And I realize I can stand down. She’s going to be just fine.

But, just in case anyone needs a reference guide in how to refer to little girls or women (or, just people in general), here are some options:

1. Their name
2. Rock star
3. Their name
4. Bad ass (okay, maybe that one’s just for me)
5. Their name
6. Captain (or matey, depending on their seniority level)
7. Oh, did I mention their name

– Oleander